This has been a journey that records this individual’s walk through the wilderness of reality on a path not of my making, in a place unknown to me, among creatures not of my choosing. Hidden from my childhood naïveté, but what is now quite clear, is that the energy, that is me, that was building and infusing the matter that I was forming through the nutrients provided by my mother, to whom I was intimately attached via my umbilical cord, was the potential energy of me building up to a quantum state needing to emerge from my mother as kinetic energy unleashed into the reality of the cooling Big Bang of the Uncaused Cause of the First Cause that would become the mind that is authoring this manuscript. My journey has had many twists and turns, ups and downs, brushes with thorns, abrasions from stumbles, and skinned knees from falls. Thus far, no broken bones!
What events of the multitude of events were correct and incorrect? Was it incorrect to get drunk at age fifteen, a week before the predator-priest carted me off to his secluded cottage, stocked full of booze of every type of hard liquor and cases of beer? The ill effects of my day-long hangover (puking and cleaning up the bathroom walls that caught the trajectory of my vomit as I tilted my head back trying to hit the toilet from the entrance door because I was not going to make it to the toilet itself,) saved me. I was so sick that a week later I could not stand even the hint of the scent of alcohol much less ingest any. That first drunk and hangover probably saved my ass from a more horrific weekend than the trauma I had to endure regardless.
From my mother’s point of view, as evident from her tongue lashing, I was grossly incorrect, sinful, ungrateful, disrespectful, disobedient and criminal. I was (and I am) extremely grateful for the ill effects from my drunkenness a week before which had prevented a drunken stupor with a sexual predator a week later.
My path was not a straight line to success. It was a random hodgepodge of interconnected paths with many forks and crossroads like the intertwined branches of a wild raspberry bush. I have made many choices, some choices were beneficial and did not cause any harm to others. Some were beneficial personally but did cause some harm that was not foreseen or considered. Some were the natural consequence of my naïveté. Others were a result of my ignorance which had to be overcome. What is intriguing about errors is that, more often than not, errors are know to be erroneous only after the results of the action are taken into account. A developed and expanding consciousness is very beneficial because a robust consciousness can facilitate projecting various scenarios into a hypothetical future to assess possible outcomes and probable harm or benefits of given different choices.
Given this understanding and all that has been conveyed thus far in this journey, has my life been correct or incorrect? I have been honest in all of my significant endeavors. I have honestly tried as best as possible to be honest in all of my travels. I am a firm believer that it is in the best interest of each and every individual to rectify all incorrect behavior, attitudes and decision-making paradigms if at all possible. I am not omniscient. As such, even with my best efforts, I am going to continue to make mistakes based upon incorrect assessments and speculations. The best I can do is act honestly and empathetically while attempting to live within agápē realities and to rectify my errors.
Regarding the accuracy and correctness of this treatise, I have endeavored to maintain two guiding principles: 1) to honestly present truthful descriptions of what my consciousness knows and understands and 2) to assure what has been presented is internally consistent without any major contradictions. Deciding whether what has been presented is, in fact, an accurate description of reality is the reader’s decision. This is and has been an honest presentation of what I have learned as I have journeyed through the events of my life thus far. I hope to learn more.
Ultimately, however, the function of language fundamentally is the conveyance of meaning. The letters: b, o, and y are three graphemes representing three phonemes that when combined together, when spoken, or written, convey the meaning of the general age and sex of a human creature which distinguishes that individual from a man or a girl. The opening sentence of this paragraph is a collection of graphemes that convey meaning that is more robust than that conveyed by the grapheme, boy.
All of the pages of this treatise are a collection of graphemes arranged into various morphemes which are then syntactically arranged into semantic elements that as a whole are arrange into a collection of myths that constitute the worldview (weltanschauung) of my consciousness. Is my worldview correct or incorrect?
Since worldviews are the domain of the human spirit, they are neither correct nor incorrect. The function of a worldview, the function of a consciousness, is to facilitate decision-making paradigms that render correct choices employed as responses to the reality created by the Uncaused Cause of the First Cause. According to my consciousness, the judgement regarding a worldview is discerning its internal consistency and the degree of robustness. Worldviews and consciousness are indicators of the human’s character. They are the apparel of the human spirit.