[Crystal]
What need breeds this revealed truth?
[Joseph Ward]
My treatment goal changed
to depart from surgical
removal of parts
to start my most difficult
process to reassess my
most precious aspects
lost at the cost of seeking
heaven’s holiness
to resurrect my wrecked child.
My therapist insisted
that my Old Man stand
and face my Hurt Child’s grief to
erase his great anguish
with relinquished pride and self
confidence to seek guidance
for ways to assist
his troubled being reeling
from priestly loving.
My Hurt Child felt defiled by
my abandonment more than
by his sexual
abasement by religious,
pious, tin relics.
He flicked searing laser beams
from his eye to fry my soul.
His pursed lips and scowl
howled silently his craving
to annihilate
the being worthy his hate.
Turning his back sacked my next
two sessions for lack
of cooperative speech
needed to reach turf
needed to create common
ground sound enough to pound out
the hurt that perverts
understanding required
for souls mired in
prolonged pain to explain their
disgust and mistrust of those
they loath who drove home
abandonment’s betrayal
that aggravates gains
to reduce the strain between
alienated kinsmen.
It was the Imp who
broke the impasse when he spoke
to the Hurt Child’s hope
to revoke the dark forty
years of abysmal, silent
stillness, unable
to relate with life’s bright light
and vibrant colors.
Thanks to the Imp, the Hurt Child
and I would try to revive
a relationship
crushed by life’s rushed pace to trace
power’s avenue.
My fifteen year old ego
in the throes of my trauma’s
unending, secret
drama was left to whither
and dry up to dust.
I will not ever sever
my ties to my hurt child’s cries
to develop and rise high
above teenage, pubescent,
hormonal intrigue.
The Old Man must educate
his Hurt Child’s dwarfed ego state.
[Shannon]
While we’re grateful for
your candor toward revealing
the intricacies
of the healing of your soul,
please, appease the confusion
we two bare, and share
with us what all this recall
means for Tina’s care.
[Joseph Ward]
Avoidance of unpleasant
consequences for hunches
made about female
psyches or mind sets must be
fully met by me
to offset deep regret for
ignorant, sexist displays,
so I decided
to delay such talk and walk
you through what I knew
to be true of residue
left to undo my spirit
after traumatic
child abuse is thought to be
defused but retains
the same effect as those few,
marred cancer cells that remain
to regain vigor
to trigger a relapse to
one’s degradation.
Mishaps are bound to occur
when feelings handicap one’s
pubescent thinking.
My fifteen year old male child
bonded tightly with
Tina’s bold, sassy, abused,
confused and sexually
used preteen female
unbeknownst to the Old Man
who found her issues
to imbue his compassion
to discontinue his choice
for noninvolvement.
Consequently, I was moved
to participate
in Tina’s support circle.
To restate, remember that
my Hurt Child only
revived his lost hope to thrive
shortly before I
finished half of my treatment.
So, the Old Man languished in
his self perception
of the presentation of
diverse ego states.
He heard the words that perturbed
his sensibilities but
the Hurt Child perked up
once revived and would contrive
to know her better.
Children in need do not feed
on wise words but imagine
fun fantastic deeds.
When twelve and fifteen year olds
cajole to dole out
words ladened with niceties
wiser minds must intercede.
The Old Man was not
attuned to subtle shifts in
displayed ego states.
Everyone must guard against
the expense of correcting
grievous errors in
judgement that leads to very
bad predicaments.
The Hurt Child at times usurps
center stage to exile
wise reign, to restrain
good judgment, for excitement.
A hard fact to learn.
To abide Tina and I,
we both must stress discipline
in our command
to assess true emotions
over fantasies.